rants
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Miss Singapore
One of the main reasons why in recent years the Singapore Government has always ensured that their Miss Universe representative were of tertiary level education or higher was because of the following incident which occurred not too many years ago. It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss USA, Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore are being asked 3 simple questions: MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with "L" Miss USA: Lamp Miss Malaysia: Light bulb Miss Singapore: LADIO Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter "L" MC: I am going to give you 2 more chances; The next question is name me an animal starting with the letter "L" Miss USA: Lion Miss Malaysia: Leopard Miss Singapore: LABBIT Judge: No, no, no, Rabbit does not start with the letter "L" MC: I am going to give you one last chance, if you answer this question incorrectly, you are disqualified. Name me a fruit starting with the letter "L" Miss USA: Lemon Miss Malaysia: Lychee Miss Singapore, with full of confidence, smiles and says: LIEWLIAN ! This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the board of judges to determine if Miss Singapore should really disqualified; and they decided that since Miss Singapore was having as many problems with the letter "L", the decided to give her another chance. Judge: OK, the final question is name me a human anatomy starting with the letter "L" Miss USA: Lung (applause) Miss Malaysia: Liver (even more applause) Miss Singapore: LAN CHEOW ! Judge: ?????????!!!!
Ah Soh Jokes
Ah Soh wants to buy a TV set. She goes to a shop. Ah Soh : "Do you have color TV ?" Salesgirl : "Yes !" Ah Soh : "Give me a green one, please " ************** Ah Soh is filling up an application form for a job. She supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc. Then she comes to column on "Salary Expected" She is not sure of the question. After much thought, she writes " Yes " ************** Ah Soh goes to a store and sees a shiny object. Ah Soh : "What is that shiny object ?" Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask." Ah Soh : "What does it do ?" Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" Ah Soh : "I'll buy it" The next day, Ah Soh goes to work with her thermo flask Boss : "What is that shiny object ?" Ah Soh : "It's a thermos flask." Boss : "What does it do?" Ah Soh : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" Boss : "What do you have in it! ?" Ah Soh : "Two cups of coffee and a coke" ************** After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Soh always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes. ************** Ah Soh always smiles during lightning storms because she thinks her picture is being taken. ************** Why can't Ah Soh dial 911 ? Because she can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone. ************** Ah Soh and her friend board a double-decker bus. Her friend gets a seat downstairs and Ah Soh goes upstairs. After a while, her friend goes upstairs to look for Ah Soh and finds her clutching the seats in both hands and her body is shivering . Her friend : "What happened? Why you so scared for what? Downstairs quite shiok one." Ah Soh : "Alamak you! You got a driver but I don't."
♥ i wrote about my beautiful day at 4:07 PM!
long winded essays xD
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